Hurt.

Last night was hell. If it wasn't for my friend being outside when my mother kicked me out of the house I would have cried my eyes out the whole night. It's not even funny how much pain I was in. Not really physical more like Emotional. I legit just felt soo alone. Like no one can see how I really feel. Everyone was just blind and or ignoring me. I hate that feeling like no one care's. Anyways. I guess I saw my friend Danielle when I went outside so she saw me crying and I told her what's wrong and so we walked to the park and smoked. Then we walked around for a while and saw our neighbor Robert who smokes too so we asked him if he had anything to smoke. He said he doesn't smoke cig's just weed. So we said even better. We were walking and he was in this dude's care and he was like Hey! Wanna smoke a blunt with us? So we said sure and we'd meet him up at the greenville by our house. He totally ditched so Danielle and I got pissed and we jus went back to her house and got some smokes and walked back to the park to smoke. Then we walked around again just talking. Sad to know that my old friend and neighbor Victoria turned out to be a whore. Anyways that was my Tuesday night. Funny how I'm like in love with fr3shboy and he just doesn't realize it..<3

It's been a while.

So I guess I havn't written in a long time but being bored in the library leaves you with nothing much to do. Well I feel like writing in spanish today well partially in english. Well I guess just alot has been going on. Lots of drama. Essepcially drama. I'm still in love with my ex Fr3shboy as I'm going to go on calling him. Yet there's English girl, Go die boy, Fr3shboy twin, Sweet but dumb boy, Hahahaa I didn't want to say their names. Just in case! But yeahh.
I guess there was also Nick. I will say his name only because I don't care so much for him anymore. He's just rude and hurts me. 
Point is It's been a long time. Alot has happened. Mostly bad stuff. New Phycatrist and more meds! Oh fucking joy! I've been listening to so much more music lately. I'm in love with Rise Against. As well as Escape The Fate. Okay so Now I'm going to write in spanish. Even though I'm better at speaking it than typing.
Aveces me kedo pensando k uvera pasado si pude besar te? Muchas veces me gustaria porer esar ayi para abrasar te cuando lo necesitas. Ya no se como decir te k te amo sin parecer mensa. 
I wish there was an easier way for me to express myself without making myself seem weak. I hate life somtimes but It's not like I can say it to poeple. Without seeming stupid.